Back to normal CD11

I think things are finally back to normal!

CD7

Still having the odd bit of spotting following my first period after m/c.
I fear for my lining, that it is not going to form properly if I am still losing bits of it...
I fear that my hormones are doing things other than they should.
Having a miscarriage is such a bigger deal physically than I ever imagined.
It's effects MONTHS of your life...
I conceived in July. It is now October.
That is 3 months of my life taken up to be back at square one.
Actually, that's funny. It feels like a whole lot more than just 3 months!!

CD5

God damn, I just had some fresh red bleeding!!!
I cannot believe it.
I thought my period was over.
I didn't have any bleeding yesterday.
Why can't anything be normal anymore??????

That could be the culprit... CD5

Thrush! Argh.

OB called last night to let me know that the swab taken last week showed that I had developed thrush. Great. I have not had thrush since I was a teenager. Yuck. Anyway, at least it's minor and treatable. It's annoying that it's yet another thing I have to deal with on the road to recovery, but at least now I have an explanation for why I've been feeling not-quite-right. And it's not a bad explanation at that.

He also said Friday's ultrasound showed everything to be OK.

My first period since miscarriage is over. I have heard you often get a nightmare period for your first one post-mc but mine was very mild. I did have mild crampy feelings for a couple of days and one afternoon of heavy bleeding, all up the period lasted for about 3-4 days. This is in contrast to my normal period that lasts about 5 days and where the first day I am doubled over with painful cramping for several hours. So I got off pretty easy :)

On Sunday we officially started "trying again". It is exciting to be trying again without obsessing about it. We just do what we do and wait for the magic to happen :)

All the best

CD1 Starting Over

It is CD1 for me now.
A new cycle.
Another chance.
A new beginning.
Hopeful again.
My period began for real today. It freaked me out a bit to once again be dripping blood. Such a sad reminder of the miscarriage. I am glad though. When I stop bleeding we will officially be "trying again". I am excited, and scared, and more than a little jaded. After Wednesday's ultrasound, the pains easing, and now my period turning up I am convinced everything is OK. I still have the OB referred ultrasound today which I'd rather do without now but will go to anyway - so it better not show anything other than that I'm fine!

I can't believe my period showed up exactly four weeks after the miscarriage. That is amazing. Evidence that my body really is being controlled by a higher power than myself.

I am hoping this will be my last AF for a long while. Now I am emotionally preparing to embark on the TTC journey once again and see where that takes us this time...

take care everyone.

OB Visits, Ultrasounds and AF????? CD28

On Tuesday I went back to see OB (AGAIN!!!) for continuing niggling discomfort. He did yet another ultrasound. I swear I have had more ultrasound/OB visits for this miscarriage than I had for my whole pregnancy with Iz. (And a hell of a lot more drama). He said everything looks "grossly normal", charming term, and that the lining of my uterus had thickened up which indicated my cycle was restarting. He then said he couldn't totally rule out retained tissue maybe a membrane or something, that wasn't showing up on ultrasound?????? wtf??????

I am hoping he was just saying that to cover his ass because he couldn't think of what else might be wrong. I do not want to be hearing that I have retained tissue. Apparently the lining on my fundus was minutely thicker than on the rest of my uterus. He did an internal, checking for pain when he pressed on various spots on my abdomen. There wasn't any, it's not that type of pain. He doesn't think I still have an infection, though he did take a swab. He also asked, phrasing it differently of course, whether I was imagining this "pain". This is something I have asked myself many times too.... Maybe it is all in my head. God knows.

He suggested a D&C in case there was some tissue, or offered to refer me for another ultrasound at a place where they have a better machine to try and see if there is tissue there. I opted for the ultrasound, which I will have on Friday.

Yesterday I had the ultrasound referred by my GP. It's findings were totally normal - that I have no evidence of infection, or retained tissue or anything else questionable. They also found a collapsing follicle on my right ovary (the right side is where my "pain" has been) and said it could be a corpus lutem. So maybe I've ovulated since the MC??????

I felt pretty positive after that ultrasound. If I do have retained tissue, it's invisible tissue. Imaginary tissue.

Then this morning I have very faint spotting and first-day-of-my-period style cramps. Again WTF??? I was expecting my period sometime soon, but not this soon. Then I realised it's exactly 4 weeks since the miscarriage. Is my body-clock that regular? that's crazy. They're definitely period-style cramps too, not like the cramps I had during and after the miscarriage. At the ultrasound yesterday the lining of my uterus was only 6.5mm (on the low side) so I'm not expecting a heavy period.

Now I am a total ball of confusion...............This miscarriage has just thrown me one curve ball after another. This is not familiar terrain....

The Never Ending Story...... CD 21

And on it goes.



I stopped bleeding red blood pretty much the day after my OB pulled the last of the retained tissue from my cervix. I then had very light spotting/brown mucous for a further week. So all in all it was about two and a half weeks after the miscarriage until the bleeding ceased completely (CD17). Since the bleeding stopped I have had some EWCM which I have read is common after miscarriage and is just your body sorting itself out and not a true fertility sign. Not that fertility signs would be much use to me at the moment given that we are using "protection" because I do not want to risk falling pregnant while on the antibiotics.



Last Thursday (CD15) I went for another checkup with my OB to make sure there was no further retained tissue and that the infection was clearing. He scanned my uterus and said everything looked OK. On the ultrasound he did see a black line in my uterus which indicated a little fluid and said it probably meant I had a tiny bit more blood to lose. At the end of the appointment he wrote in his notes "complete miscarriage", closed my folder and told me I didn't need to come back until I was pregnant again. Sweet relief. Leaving his office after that appointment I felt that same feeling of freedom I felt as a kid being dismissed on the last day of school term before summer holidays. Aah it was good...



This past week though I continue to have some "discomfort" in my pelvic region. It's not pain exactly, but it just doesn't feel right in there. So I went to my GP today and told her I think the infection might still be there. She prescribed another dose of both antibiotics (I am still going with the last of my Metronide, but I finished the Augmentin a couple of days ago), and referred me for another ultrasound next Wednesday. I thought it best get a second opinion rather than go back to my OB, given that I don't really like him that much anyway. Maybe if there's a problem the GP can't treat she will refer me to another specialist. Oh and it was nice to speak to someone who didn't think i was insane for wanting to miscarry naturally.



God this never-ending miscarriage is driving me crazy. Like a pendulum I swing from being so put off that I never want to have another baby to total despair thinking that this infection is going to rob me of my fertility.